


Shattered Dreams

by Wild21



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Rumbelle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-26 06:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wild21/pseuds/Wild21
Summary: Belle French is a young student with a big romantic heart. She's in a problematic relationship with her fellow college student Gaston, the "good guy" every other girl dreams about. She's learning the hard way that not all dreams are meant to be and that being a hopeless romantic is not as good as her books make it seem. Would she ever find the true love of her life? And even if she does, could she make that dream last?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in love with Rumbelle since February 12, 2011, I'm an old timer Rumbeller but this is my first fanfic and English is not my native language so please be patient! Thank you for reading!

Chapter 1

Belle had just lost her maidenhood and she was seeing stars, but not in the way she had expected.

Being young and naïve, a romantic at heart, she’d always believed that the first time she’d made love with the man she loved everything would be sweet and romantic. She had expected candles and soft music, whispers of love and unbridled passion. How wrong she had been!

Now she found herself laying on the dusty ground, in the middle of the night on the farthest part of the grove where she had her first date with her boyfriend. It had been six months ago after he had been courting her for a long time. Back then he had promised her eternal love and endless romance. She was not in love with him, but he was persistent. 

They’d met on their first day at college when they had waited in line to finish their paperwork. They talked, she thought he was a funny guy and, alone as she was in this new town, she thought of him as her friend. Time went by and after a few weeks he started flirting with her. At first it was just innocent flirting and she thought he was cute and sweet, but she wasn’t really interested in him. She liked him as a friend, but they had nothing in common, they saw the world in such a different way and their feelings and beliefs were totally opposite. 

But he didn’t give up on her and what had been cute and sweet at first became troublesome and even worrying for Belle. No matter where she went, no matter what she did, he was always there. Then he played the “friend-zoned good guy” card. Everyone around them was rooting for him especially when he looked at her with those big puppy eyes that made everyone go “awwww!” and made her feel uncomfortable. She tried to reject him many times, but he never took a no for an answer and didn’t give up. 

When her birthday came, it was a Sunday and her roommate invited her to have breakfast in a restaurant downtown, a luxury she randomly had, being always so tight on her money and all. But as soon as they arrived in the restaurant she knew she had been framed: he was there, all dressed up, holding a big bouquet of red roses and standing next to a fancy table set for two. 

“Belle French”, he said in front of everybody. “Would you be my girlfriend?”

Everyone at the restaurant was staring. There was silence all around them and it was as if people were holding their breath, waiting for her response. She looked around embarrassed and sighed. What was the worst that could happen? He was a nice guy, they were friends, they got along just fine… maybe she was being picky, maybe she could learn to love him or at least they could have fun going out for a while. 

She didn’t feel it, but she felt pressured and when she nodded and replied with a small “yes”, people cheered and clapped, and he grabbed her and spun her around. 

Her roommate had been so proud of herself for bringing them together at last. He took her to the arcade after breakfast and she felt she was dating a big teenager. He insisted she should call her father to let him know they were dating but she didn’t want to rush things. He said: “Your dad already knows and approves, I spoke to him already”. If that was supposed to be sweet or nice, she didn’t feel it that way; it freaked her out a little. 

“How did you know my father?” 

“I looked him up; you told me he has a flower shop in your hometown, it wasn’t difficult to find. We’ve spoken on the phone a couple of times and I think he likes me. I wanted to do things right in the old-fashioned way, so I let him know of my intentions towards you.”

Belle thought she had gotten herself into something that sooner or later would cause her problems, but she wanted to believe. Her upbringing hadn’t been easy at all. She’d lost her mother when she was very young, when a violent burglar got into their house and her mom tried to protect her. She didn’t remember much of it, but his father had never been the same after that. He spent most of his money indulging in his heavy drinking and gambling. She worked hard since she was very young and only because she was a brilliant student she could finish high school relying on the scholarship she had worked hard to earn. She continued struggling after high school, attending her father’s shop, working part time in the local library and sometimes waiting tables in a nearby diner, all to save some the money that could allow her to attend college. She never had time to hang out with friends or have a boyfriend.

On the night of her 21st birthday she found herself outside her dorm, with her boyfriend. She felt she was forced into a situation she didn’t want in the first place, but she thought maybe it was time to loosen up a little, to allow herself to have fun, to live her life as a student and stop worrying too much. When he leaned in to kiss her, she backed up… but then she only closed her eyes and let him kiss her. Her first kiss, her very first kiss. She had always dreamt of that moment and in her dreams, everything was magical and special. In her dreams the man she loved would kiss her, and she’d hear bells ringing, see fireworks and her heart would flutter. But when he kissed her she only felt the awkwardness of the moment; he barely touched her lips and his kiss tasted like the hot-dog he had eaten on their way to the dorm, and he struggled to find the right angle. They ended the kiss laughing nervously and when she entered the dorm she leaned against the door and closed her eyes and realized that dreams were only dreams. 

She wouldn’t find the man of her dreams. Perfect kisses didn’t exist, bells wouldn’t ring, and butterflies wouldn’t fly in her stomach. This was the real world and in the real-world men were a little clumsy, their kissed tasted like hot-dogs and cars honked in the street as they kissed good night. 

That night she decided she’d take what she had, and she’d make the best of it. 

If she and Gaston were going to date, she’d do her best. She would try to make things perfect for them, she’d try to find the best in him and maybe she could learn to love him and fall in love with him eventually. He was a nice guy and he had tried hard to earn her heart. She liked him… as a friend. But maybe if she tried as hard and he had, she could love him. Maybe he was meant to be the great love of her life and if she didn’t give herself the opportunity to find out, she’d never know. She promised she’d be the best girlfriend he could have, and she’d try hard to make their relationship work, if not for him, for herself. 

The next day she had prepared a surprise picnic for him in the little grove she’d found right behind the university grounds. A place that had become her little secret corner, her hiding place, her safe haven. It was their first date and they laughed, talked and had a good time. Back then Belle thought that they could make it work if they tried hard. Maybe love stories were like this, not two people meeting and having a blast of fireworks, but a man and a woman compromising, working hard every day and building a relationship that could become love. 

But now, six months after, there she was, lying on the ground under the trees of the grove that once was her haven, looking at the stars above her. She heard him zipping up his pants and grunting some incompressible words. She sat up, hugged her legs to her chest and wiped a stray tear that had escaped the corner of her eye.

“You aren’t crying, are you?” He asked throatily. 

Belle sniffed and looked away. Everything hurt… everything. 

“C’mon…” He stood up. “Don’t you think this wasn’t uncomfortable for me too? I mean, we couldn’t go to the dorm and you know we cannot afford a hotel room either. I could’ve take you in the back of my car but that’s so vulgar. I thought you’d like it here better since you love this place.”

“I wasn’t ready, that’s all”. 

“Belle don’t start with that again.” He got down on one knee by her side. “We’ve talked about this before… we’ve been dating for six months now. Do you know how hard it is for a guy to wait this long? I’m a man, Belle, I needed this and also the guys were making fun of me, you know? Didn’t you like it?”

“It hurt.” She replied under her breath, feeling that she wouldn’t be able to contain her tears anymore.

“The first time always hurt and I’m a very well-endowed man, you should be happy! Don’t worry, you’ll like it better next time. Now get up, I’ll take you to the dorm. By the way, tomorrow I have training and the guys and I are going out after to prepare for the game, so I’ll see you until Monday.”

Gaston stood up and she looked up at him, waiting for him to even give her a hand, but he busied himself checking his cell phone. She fixed her shirt and combed her fingers thought her hair before trying to get up. She had to try a couple of times, because everything hurt. She felt she couldn’t even walk. As Gaston walked her to the door of her dorm she felt a strange wetness between her legs; she wasn’t wet from their previous activities, because he didn’t even make sure she was moist before he took her.

He left her in the entrance of the dorm and gave her a quick kiss before going to his car. She entered the building and went to her room and directly to the bathroom. She was bleeding and she knew it wasn’t her period. He had made her bleed. Her underwear was soaked in blood and the smell of it made her feel nauseous. She could feel his sweat all over her and smell his cheap cologne on her skin and she wanted to throw up. 

Belle started the shower and threw her clothes away. As she was washing herself, rubbing her skin hard with a sponge, she remembered the way he had taken her. She didn’t want it to happen, but she didn’t say no either. She had been denying him for months, he was upset and that night, unprepared and unwilling as she was, she felt she couldn’t fight him and his desires anymore. He was her boyfriend and she had promised she’d do her best to be a good girlfriend. Maybe he really needed their intimacy, maybe it was harder for men to hold back that it was for women. She couldn’t know… maybe it was his way to show her his love and his emotions… maybe… maybe sex could make their relationship better.

She’d never expected her first time to be like that, though. She’d never expected him to force her, emotionally if not physically, to give herself to him. She’d never expected him to take her in the old grove where they had their first date, where they had gazed at the stars, where she had helped him study to pass his finals, where he had told her about his mother’s illness and where she had comforted him as he cried when his grandfather died. That spot was her haven, her safe place… not the place where she expected him, her boyfriend, the nice guy every girl envied, to take her on the dirty ground, with no foreplay at all, in such a primitive and rough way… she had expected more, but maybe this was real life and things happened like this beyond the dreams of a naïve, romantic dreamer. 

That night, as she lied in bed feeling sored, hurt and dirty, she told herself that she needed to grow up, forget her childish dreams of fairy tales and romance and face the real world, where men had physical needs and smelled like sweat and couldn’t cuddle because they had a football game. Her dreams had been shattered, but maybe, just maybe, that was how she’d grow, and she’d get to face the real world.


	2. Chapter 2

Belle had always been a social kind of person. She liked to talk to people, be helpful and socialize. She would go out of her way to help anyone who could need a hand. She always volunteered to whatever had to be done for her classes, she always took a bullet for the team when it was needed, she stayed up late helping classmates with their works, helping them studying for midterms or read proofing their papers. Sadly, she was the kind of person who was only visible when she was needed. The rest of the time she was invisible for her friends… more like acquaintances, really. 

She woke up feeling sore and upset. She’d been bleeding all night to the point she needed to put a tampon on. Ruby, her roommate, was sound asleep after being out all night with only God knew who. She changed significant others every other week and she didn’t really had any preferences, males or females, it didn’t matter so it was hard for Belle to keep track of who was with Ruby at any given time. She had returned to the dorm almost at dawn, drunken and crashing against every piece of furniture in the room. 

Belle was more careful, she left her bed, went to take a hot shower and then left the room. She wanted to talk to her father. As complicated as their relationship could be, she tried to talk to him once a week to make sure he was doing fine and that morning she felt she needed to hear a familiar voice. She went downstairs, grabbed a cup of terrible coffee from a vending machine and went to sit down to a nearby bench under a bulletin board. 

“Belle!” Her father answered the call after only two rings. “How are you, my girl?”

“I’m good, father.” She tried to smile. “I had a rough night, but I’m fine.”

“Are you coming soon? You see, I’m needing some help with the shop and I’ve been feeling a little sick… I went to the hospital this week and they think it might be the liver.”

“Are you alright, father?” She worried. 

“They are running some tests. I don’t know, but I need your help here.”

“But… finals are coming soon, and I already enrolled in some Summer courses so I’ll be able to graduate sooner.”

“I know, but I was thinking maybe you could skip some classes… I need you here.”

Belle felt her eyes get mist with tears. Her father had always been like that, he never thought about her or what she needed, he only thought about himself and always saw her as a way to get free help whenever he needed a helping hand, but he never asked if she needed anything. It wouldn’t hurt either if he took care of himself once in a while.

“Look, father… I’m sorry to hear about your illness and I promise I’ll go there as soon as I can, but I just can’t skip the summer courses. I’ll try to… I don’t know, go see you on the weekends or—”

“But I need you to take me to the hospital and look after the shop during the weekdays, not the weekends.”

“I know but… it’s a three hours ride and… I don’t have enough money for the trip and I’ll be working part time at the University’s library during the summer and—you know, I—”

“So your classes and your job are more important to you than me.”

“Father, don’t be like that… I’ll try to—"

“You can ask Gaston to take you here, he has a car and he’s such a nice young lad. I’m sure he’ll be happy to help!”

“Look, I—Gaston, he…”

“You cannot tell me you’re having problems with him, Belle! He’s the best man you could’ve found, and you need to take care of him! Is he alright?”

“Yes, he is.”

“Good, good… listen, I’m going to give him a call, ask him to take you here next week. I’m sure he’ll help you.”

“But next week I—”

“Belle, I have to go. Someone is at the door and I’m waiting for a delivery. See you next week then. Bye!”

She heard the beeping sound of the call ending and she stared into the wall, the phone still held against her ear. She sighed in defeat, put the phone away and took a sip of her coffee. No one would listen to her, not Gaston, not her father or her friends. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. She had people all around her and yet she felt incredible lonely. She was on her own. 

“Belle!” 

She opened her eyes when she heard that familiar voice calling her and she tried to smile when she saw her next door neighbors, Mary Margaret and Emma, walking towards her. 

“Hey!” Belle greeted them. “How are you, guys?”

“Are you coming to the match tomorrow?” Mary Margaret asked. “David told me Gaston is doing a great job lately, surely his girlfriend will be there cheering for him?”

“Well…” Belle shook her head, remembering that Gaston never invited her to his matches. “No, I—I have things to do.”

“I’d be careful if I were you.” Emma replied. “Girls are all over Gaston and you know how men are.”

“Oh, c’mon Emma, you know he only has eyes for Belle.” 

“I don’t know, after that disaster that was that Jones creep I don’t trust men anymore.”

Belle looked at Emma; Ruby had told her that she had seen her in a gay nightclub few nights ago, making out with an elegant lady. She didn’t know how much of what Ruby said was true, but she wouldn’t be surprised if Emma came out sooner or later. She knew Emma had a terrible affair with ‘that Jones creep’ and she thought her friend – or whatever Emma and the others were to her – needed some love.

“Anyway,” Mary Margaret said. “We’re going to have breakfast and we were wondering if maybe you could spell check a paper I have due for next Monday.”

“Sure.”

“I’ll e-mail it to you later… I think it might need some extra references too, could you help me with that, Belle? I’d do it myself but with the match and the after party… and since you don’t go out much I thought…”

“I’ll do it, no problem.”

“Thank you, Belle, you’re a darling!”

The two women walked away, and Belle saw them get out of the building and head to the diner across the street and her eyes went to the awful cup of coffee she was drinking. She got up slowly, still feeling as if her insides had been turned inside out and headed back to her room to get her laptop and go to the library to work on her own papers and projects. As pale as she was that day and as lonely as she looked sitting all alone in that empty corridor, none of her friends had even asked her how she was doing, much less invited her to join them for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind comments and for reading this!


	3. Chapter 3

Summer came fast and before Belle knew she was completely committed to her Summer classes and her work in the campus’ library. She was working hard to get her English Language and Literature degree; she dreamed that someday she could be a book editor, work for a publishing house or maybe in a library. Since she was little she had a strange fascination for fairytales and she was working on a research about folktales. Her biggest dream was that someday she could be a writer and write all kind of fantastic stories about princesses and their princes.

But that day she didn’t really have the time to be fantasizing about any of that. While working with a pack of new books that had just arrived and needed to be classified, all she could think about was the fact that she was late. She heard that a lot around campus, with her classmates and even in movies and TV series, how women often “were late” and that declaration was always followed by a rush trip to the nearest drugstore and a pregnancy test. She knew the drill, she’d seen it many times in real life and in the movies but she never thought she’d be in that situation.

It was true that she and Gaston had been intimated more than a few times. After their disastrous first time she thought she never wanted to have sex with him again but a couple of days later he showed up at the door of her dorm room with a bouquet of roses and he invited her to have dinner. He was the perfect gentleman and when he dropped her off at night and Ruby wasn’t not in the room (which meant that she wouldn’t be sleeping there that nigh) he hugged Belle from behind, kissed her neck and whispered: “Let me stay the night”. She wanted to refuse but apparently that hadn’t been a petition but just a statement. Before she knew Gaston had made himself at home and they spent the night together in her bed. That second time hadn’t been painful like the first, but she didn’t feel anything. Gaston just got in bed, pulled her with him, took off her clothes and as much as she wanted to enjoy the act, she just couldn’t. As she laid there, looking at the ceiling, she could only think about that old expression: “lie back and think of England”. 

Gaston was a well-endowed man but a terrible lover. He never cared about her or her needs, he only wanted to get to the act, have his pleasure and sleep. He almost never spent the night with her, he never cuddled after sex, he never tried to please her and she never found her pleasure with him. One thing she never understood about Gaston was that right after he was done, he’d turn away from her, toss the condom to the floor and immediately started to get dressed, always murmuring what a disgusting mess everything was.

Belle tried to remember. They had always used protection… except for that one time when he insisted he wanted “to feel the real thing” but he hadn’t finished inside her. She was worried and even more when she read in the books that sometimes pregnancy could occur even with coitus interruptus. Those little sperms could be real tricky sometimes. 

She sighed deeply and blinked her tears away. She didn’t know what to think or what to do. She didn’t want to take the pregnancy test just then because that would make things real and she wasn’t prepared to face reality. She didn’t know how she felt about that situation or what she’d do if her fears were confirmed. 

Gaston had been away for some days. He was playing the Summer season with the football team and they had matches in nearby cities, but she knew as soon as he were back that day, he’d go find her. And she wasn’t wrong. She was leaving the library when he appeared and let her know they had won their matches and he was one of the most valuable players of the summer season so far. He was happy and excited about it and he told her he wanted to celebrate and he’d take her out for dinner that night. 

“Gaston, I’m late”. She cut him off, unable to share his excitement. 

“What? Late for what? I thought your shift was over.”

“Late as in… my period… I’m late.”

He looked at her and blinked, not knowing what she meant.

“I should’ve had my period two weeks ago… and I’ve always been very regular so… I’m late and… I’m worried.”

“Late?” He shook his head. “Late as in… pregnant?”

“I mean, I’m not sure just yet but… I thought I’d take a pregnancy test and I was wondering if you—”

“No, no!” Gaston lifted his hands before him. “We’ve always used protection”.

“Except that one time.”

“No, but I didn’t… I mean, that’s not possible… if you’re pregnant that’s not my child, Belle. It cannot be!”

“Gaston!” She raised her voice but people stared and she tried to calm herself. “If I’m pregnant, it is your child! I’ve never been with anyone else! Who do you think I am?”

“No, I’m sorry Belle, I know and I’m sorry… it’s just that… my football career is far more important that any child right now and I don’t… I mean, you’re not going to keep it, do you?”

Belle never considered any possibility of what to do if the test was positive but at that moment, listening to Gaston, she felt a fierce sense of protection towards the baby she could be carrying inside of her. Her hand went to her abdomen and she faced Gaston, lifting her head and looking at him in the face. 

“If I’m pregnant, I’m keeping my child.”

Gaston’s face turned red and he was going to reply in not a very nice way, but he stopped himself and took a deep breath: 

“Look, you go and have that pregnancy test and when we know for sure what’s happening, then we can talk. But I can’t let you ruin my career, Belle… I cannot father that child and that’s my last word. So either we find an alternative or… you’re on your own”. 

He turned his back to her and started to walk away. Belle looked at him as he left and her hand rubbed her belly. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears but there was something burning inside of her chest. 

“Don’t worry little one, your mom won’t let anything bad happen to you. You’re safe with me.”

She knew she needed to go to the pharmacy and get the pregnancy test, the sooner the better. But she was scared and she didn’t know what to do… she didn’t feel strong enough to face the truth, whatever it might be. 

Later that night she was in her room. Ruby was away for the summer like most of the people in her dorm, so she was almost all alone. When someone knocked on the door she knew it was Gaston and she rolled her eyes before going to open the door. He appeared there with a paper bag in his hands and a stupid smile on his face.

“Gaston, I don’t want to talk to you, I—"

“Belle, I’m sorry… I need to talk to you. The news got me by surprise and I know I reacted bad but… can we talk? I brought some sandwiches and sodas”.

Belle opened the door and motioned him inside. He went to place the paper bag on the desk and unpack the dinner he had brought. 

“What do you want to talk about, Gaston?” Belle crossed her arms and faced him with a bravery that she didn’t really feel. 

“Well, about this situation, of course.” He handed her a sandwich. “Chicken salad, I hope you like it”. 

Belle put the sandwich aside and she was going to say something, but Gaston handed her a piece of paper.

“I went to the clinic this afternoon to have some tests done, you know how they are always keeping us clean from drugs and all. So anyway, on my way out I saw this flier pinned on the bulletin board and I think this could be very helpful”. 

Belle took the piece of paper he was handing her and her eyes widened when she saw it was an add for an abortion clinic. 

“It says they can help you resolve the problem”.

“Help ME? And what problem is that?” Belle replied defiantly. 

“Unwanted pregnancy, of course…”

“But this is… this is an add for abortion. Gaston, I thought your family was very religious and you were against ending pregnancies and…”

“Yes, but this is different… this is about my career. Belle, we cannot have this baby, not now. We don’t have the money to support the kid and also you need to finish your studies and I’m having my best season in football. This could be something serious, something big and I don’t want a child to ruin my life right now”.

“So a child would ruin your life then?”

“Of course!” Gaston tried to take her hands but she refused. “Look, when we graduate and we marry I want to have all the babies with you… six or seven, maybe. I love kids, Belle but right now… I cannot do this and I cannot let my father know, he’d be very disappointed and upset. Also think about your father, Belle. The poor old man is sick and I don’t think he’d like to know his only daughter was irresponsible enough to get knocked up”.

“So now it’s my fault? I’m responsible for this, right? I’m the only one to be blamed here, for being irresponsible, for ruin your career…”

“No, Belle, that’s now that I meant! I’m only trying to help!”

“Look, Gaston — go, ok? Just go now. I can’t talk to you right now”. 

“But… tell me at least you’ll think about it!”

“Just go… I can’t do this right now… go!”

Belle pushed him to the door but he stopped her from closing it. 

“Have you taken the pregnancy test yet?” He wanted to know.

She shook her head. She was scared and she didn’t want to do it because she felt nauseous just thinking about the results.

“I have it right here”. Belle whispered. “Maybe… maybe I could take it now that you’re here.”

“No, no, no!” Gaston backed off. “No, that’s something you should do in private… I—I have to go, I have training early in the morning and I—good night Belle, call me tomorrow, ok?”

Belle saw him leave the corridor in a hurry, sighed and closed the door. She looked at her sandwich and felt nauseous again. She wasn’t hungry so she put everything away in her mini-fridge and looked at the pink box resting on top of it. Her heart was beating very fast. She was about to take the box when the sound of a text message in her cell made her jump. 

“Geez!” She put her hand on her chest. “Repentance came soon, eh Gaston?” 

When she grabbed her cell phone she saw that the message actually came from Mrs. Andersen, the Head Librarian of the University’s Library and her boss for the summer. 

“Dear Belle: I have to go to St. Paul to attend a family emergency. We’re short of staff during the summer so I’ll be very grateful if you can take care of the library for the few days I’ll be away. You’re the best person for the job.”

Belle blinked a few times and felt her chest tightening with that message. She would love to help Mrs. Anderson, she was a very nice lady and she knew she could take care of her job for a few days but the timing was really bad at the moment. Yet she knew no one would do it if she didn’t and also the extra money wouldn’t hurt either, so she texted back:

“Don’t worry Mr. Anderson, I’ll cover for you. I hope the emergency is resolved soon. Have a safe trip.”

Almost immediately she received a reply:

“Thank you! I’m leaving early in the morning. Please check the calendar I have on my desk, we’re waiting for the visit of an expert on old and rare books that will be visiting the library to appraise some books in the historical collection and check some others that need restoration work. He’ll be arriving in a couple of days and it’s a priority date, I know you’ll take care of it just fine.”

Belle sighed and threw the phone on to her bed. As if she wasn’t stressed enough… but Mrs. Anderson was one of the few people who always treated her well and was genuinely nice and kind to her, so she couldn’t refuse to help her particularly if she had an emergency. 

She looked at the pink box resting on top of the mini fridge almost teasingly. She didn’t think she could take the test just then… she needed a good night of sleep and the lady at the pharmacy told her that pregnancy tests were more accurate if they were taken in the morning. She was tired and sad and the only thing she wanted to do was sleep so just for that night she’d forget about the world and let it spin without her for once.


End file.
